Giving from the Heart

Yea, it's Christmas time, and it probably sparked my thoughts, but it really isn't what this is about. It's about everyday life and our motivation for everything we do.

Do you do what you should? at work, for your family....
Do you do what is expected of you? what your husband expects, kids expect....
Do you do it because someone asked you to?
Because you feel like you have to?

Learning to say no has been nearly impossible for me, so this is not preching or judging... believe me!

You can give from the heart, with everyday things, you don't have to be "gifting"

When you feed your family, cook dinner, clean up the kitchen... - are you doing it because you have to, are you resentful that no one else is doing it, leaving you to take care of stuff you hate

What are my expectations? Do I expect you to appreciate it, am I doing it for something in return. Appreciation is - something in return...

You're not only lessening the "gift" by expecting something in return, but you are also ruining it for yourself, and creating a host of difficulties in your relationships.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of something not given from the heart? It feels terrible
The people I love, their value does not reside in what they give to me, or do for me. And in fact quite the opposite. The more they do for me when they do for themselves. You see, if you don't give to yourself, you aren't whole to give to others. Putting yourself last, makes others feel guilty. Even if you think you do it happily. There is no happiness in not taking care of your own needs.

Maybe we can change our vocabulary... First to include the word NO
Then to change our SHOULDS and HAVE TOS into WANTS and GLAD TOS.

I want to feed my family because I enjoy it. (even when they don't appreciate it)
I'm glad to do that for you because it fulfills me. (not because you'll owe me later)
I want to work because I enjoy having nice things.
I want to do a good job because I like my work. (not because I want a raise)

Life has disappointments. No need to create more by giving falsely.

Happy Holidays